Thursday, February 28, 2008

White House Black Magic

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Republican National Committee today formally accused US Democratic presidential candidate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) of being "a Satan-worshipper." The bombshell allegation appeared in a press release issued by the RNC under the title, "Hell Hath No Fury."

The accusation comes at a time when the former First Lady can ill-afford a setback in her faltering campaign against Sen. Barack Obama.

The RNC press kit included what was described as "photographic evidence" of the charge (See photo at bottom); while a spokesperson for the Clinton campaign responded angrily, saying, "We're all shocked and horrified by this insane smear leveled by a desperate Republican Party."

The press release was signed by Mike Duncan, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, who further charged that documents had come into his possession alleging Sen. Clinton had engaged in “rituals and a Black Mass” while her husband, Bill Clinton, was serving as President.

Surrounded by reporters outside his home in Alexandria, Duncan refused to answer questions, saying only: “Wait till you see what’s coming…this is just the tip of the iceberg, folks. Remember that movie ‘Rosemary’s Baby’? Well, it’s ‘Mary Poppins’ compared to what went on in the Clinton's bedroom.”

Sen. Obama, when asked about the charges, smiled and said. “That’s some weird s---, but I can't comment until all the facts are in.”

Photo: REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton