A new bill introduced by House Republicans and sponsored by the United Speed-Readers Association (USRA) is moving rapidly through committee. The proposed law would effectively ban the use of all conjunctions from written and published texts, to facilitate the composition of run-on sentences. Why? The bill's sponsors believe it will raise the nation's reading speeds beyond current limits and bolster productivity. Critics argue that if the bill becomes law (and that is in doubt due to well-financed opposition from Write to Life groups), it will result in the death of the English language.
"Ifs, ands, and buts are the lifeblood of our language," says Professor Jorge Menendez of San Diego State University, a fierce opponent of the bill, and founder of Leave My Buts Alone, Gringo (LMBAG). "Do we really want people reading faster? Aren't there enough run-on collisions in libraries as it is? Ask anyone who has ever tried to make it across the Information Highway on footnotes."
It's not only academics, writers, and bookworms who are trying to stop the bill. Proofreaders, too, are making their voices heard. Many, of course, are paid by the word, so they may be less concerned with saving “but” than watching out for their own backsides.
Perhaps it's understandable when you consider that their industry has shrunk by more than 70% since the invention of the Spell-Check.
"Ifs, ands, and buts are the lifeblood of our language," says Professor Jorge Menendez of San Diego State University, a fierce opponent of the bill, and founder of Leave My Buts Alone, Gringo (LMBAG). "Do we really want people reading faster? Aren't there enough run-on collisions in libraries as it is? Ask anyone who has ever tried to make it across the Information Highway on footnotes."
It's not only academics, writers, and bookworms who are trying to stop the bill. Proofreaders, too, are making their voices heard. Many, of course, are paid by the word, so they may be less concerned with saving “but” than watching out for their own backsides.
Perhaps it's understandable when you consider that their industry has shrunk by more than 70% since the invention of the Spell-Check.
